Office Jokes and Work Humor

One company is looking to recruit a cadre. One of the questions asked during the interview is:
You are driving your car during a night of violent storm.
You pass by a bus station in which people wait:
“An old lady who seems to be about to die.”
“A doctor who saved your life once.”
– A man / A woman of your dreams.
You can only take one person in your car. Say what you are doing and explain your answer.

One person out of the 200 candidates was illustrated by his exemplary answer, WHAT WAS ANSWER ?????? . . . .

He simply replied, “I give the keys of my car to the doctor, let him take the old lady to take him to the hospital, and so I find myself alone with the person of my dreams waiting for the bus with the doctor, A not insignificant advantage of passing for a hero in his eyes. ”

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

One day, as he walked down the street, a successful Commercial Director was tragically hit by a bus and died.
Her soul arrives at Paradise where she is welcomed by St Peter.
“Welcome to Paradise,” said St Pierre, “but before you settle in here, it seems that we have a problem. You see, it’s rather surprising, but we have never had a Sales Manager until now and we Are not quite sure what we need to do to you ”
– “No problem, just let me in,” said the man.
– “I would like but I have orders that come from above. What we are going to do is let you spend a day in Hell and one day in Paradise and so you can choose where you want to go Eternity. ”
– “I think I have already made my choice … I prefer to stay in Paradise,” said the man.
– “Sorry, but we have rules …”
And so St Peter took the man into an elevator that descended into Hell. The doors opened and he found himself on the green of a magnificent golf course. A little further on, there was the country club, in front of him all his friends, well dressed, who cheered him. They approached, embraced him, and spoke of the good old days. They made an excellent golf course and in the evening went to the country club where they enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster. The man met the Devil who was charming and he had a wonderful time telling stories and dancing. He spent such a good time that before he realized it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook his hand, said goodbye to him and he climbed into the elevator. He returned to Paradise and found St Peter again.
“Now you’re going to spend a day in Paradise,” he said.
He spent the next 24 hours lazily lazily on the clouds playing the harp and singing. He spent such a good time that before he realized the 24 hours had passed and St Pierre was back to make his choice.
“Then you spent one day in Hell and one day in Paradise. Now you have to choose for eternity,” he said.
The man reflected for a moment and replied:
– “Well, I never would have thought I would say this, Paradise is really good but I think I will enjoy more in Hell.
Then St Peter escorted him to the elevator and he went down again to Hell. When the elevator doors opened, he found himself in a desolate landscape, full of rubbish, he saw his friends dressed in rags collecting dirt. The Devil came to him and welcomed him.
– “I do not understand, man stammered, yesterday I was here, there was a golf course and a country club, we ate lobster, we danced and we had a lot of fun, Is a desert of rubbish and all my friends seem miserable.
The Devil looked at him and smiled: “You are Commercial Director, you should know the principle! Yesterday we presented you advertising, today you have the product!”

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

A headhunter asks a man who is looking for a job:
– Here is a drawing that represents a sea. Three men swim. A shark approaches them and threatens them. One of the swimmers evolves with confidence, totally disarmed. The second holds a large knife and is ready to defend his life dearly. The third took the precaution of taking away a spear gun. Which character of this drawing do you identify?
– Uh … To the third man.
– Pity ! What we are looking for are sharks.

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

The candidate for a new post in a company adds timidly after the interview with the chief of staff:
“I must admit a little thing, sir, I am a little superstitious!”
“No matter, my dear fellow,” replied the chief of the staff. We will simply remove your thirteenth month!

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

One group of women felt that the computer was male, for the following reasons:
1. It’s supposed to help you, but most of the time it’s THE problem.
2. He has plenty of information but has no imagination.
3. As soon as you have one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you would have had a better model.

A group of men came to the conclusion that the computer is female, for the following reasons:
1. One does not understand his logic.
2. The least error is stored in memory to be released at the most inopportune moment!
3. As soon as you have one, you discover that you have to spend half your salary in accessories.

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

A secretary proposes to his boss to sort his mail and destroy what goes back six years and more.
Okay, this one answers, distracted, but first make photocopies!

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

It is a young dynamic executive who is about to leave his office around 8 pm when he crosses the managing director of his box in front of the shredder, a sheet of paper in his hand …
“Ah, young man, you will be able to help me before leaving: This (showing his paper) is very important and my secretary has just left, would you know how to operate this machine?”
The jeunot answers:
“Certainly sir.”
And he plugs the plug, inserts the paper in the slot and it is immediately crushed.
And while his paper disappears, the CEO says:
“Excellent! Only one copy will suffice …”

It is the manager of a large company who asks his employee to book a plane ticket. The employee returns after a while and tells his boss:
“Monsieur, to Air France, they told me it was complete.
A Air Inter, also complete.
A Air Freedom, complete as well.
At Air Liquide, they replied that I was a con.

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

A young computer scientist who set up a new machine for a user, asked her what password he wanted to use to access the network.
Wanting to tease the girl, he told her to enter “Penis”.
Without blinking, she typed the password and burst out laughing at the system message.
But what was this message?

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH.

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

A young woman spends an interview to get a job.
His potential employer asks him:
– Have you ever held a position of responsibility in your previous jobs?
– Oh ! Yes, responsible, I know what it is.
– Oh, right?
– Well, whenever something did not work, it was me responsible.

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

The director of a big company interviews a young woman (blonde) for a recruitment. He wants to test his personality and asks him: “If you could have a conversation with a dead or alive person what would that person be?” The blonde hurries to answer: “The living person!”

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

A secretary said to her boss:
“Monsieur, a man passed by just now and wished to see you.” He wanted to break your face.
– Oh ! My God ! And what did you answer him?
“How sorry I am that you are not here.”

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

A CEO has one of his executives come to his office one evening around 7 pm:
– “Martin, you will be nice to prepare a note on the current situation of our subsidiary in Brazil.”
– “Sir, you want it for when?”
– “But tomorrow of course, if it was for tomorrow I will have asked for it tomorrow!”

๐Ÿ˜† – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – ๐Ÿ™„ – – – ๐Ÿ˜‰ – – – ๐Ÿ˜ณ – – ๐Ÿ˜• – – – – – ๐Ÿ˜›

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